There are maps in the phone book


             At the beginning of my pizza career I knew absolutely nothing about the town I was working in.  I lived about a forty five minute drive away but if I would have been from the moon I couldn’t have known much less.  There was a very large and detailed map at the pizza shop which even had the number of each house in town which came in very handy.  I would have been literally lost without this map for the first couple of weeks.  I also needed a map in the car.  Perhaps I didn’t know where to look but it seemed that I couldn’t buy a detailed map anywhere for the town.  If it were now I assume I could find one on the internet in thirty seconds, things have changed quite a bit from the early 90s.  I had shared my map problem with at least one wise person who told me that the local phone book had a full page map of the town and that was then taped to the dash of my car for the first month.  After that month I  felt confident to leave the shop without any navigational aids and often did not even have to consult the map in the store.  At that point I realized that my knowledge of the area seemed to have exceeded the knowledge of some of the drivers that had grown up in the area and had also been working there much longer than myself.  Not all of them but some of them.  What I am trying to do is not blow my own horn but share what observation I suspected then and have decided is a truth in the many years since.  Some people can’t deliver pizza. I have observed that if  a person is noy competent at it within 3 to 5 weeks there is no hope, its just not in their blood.  People can’t deliver pizza for various other reasons;  here are some I have observed:

1.  Some people are too stupid, yes you can be too stupid to deliver pizza.

2.  Some people have a bad sense of direction

3.  Some people move and/or drive too slow

4.  Some people are too excitable, driving by the correct street four times in their unrestrained panic.

5. Some people drive too fast and spend too much time in the ditch, snowbanks or sitting in the backs of police cars.

6. Some people refuse to drive a reliable car.  Many drivers I have seen have the logic that since they are going to be beating the hell out of their car that it makes sense to not pay any more than $250 for their vehicle.  These vehicles tend to be somewhat undependable and sometimes break in half upon hitting a large bump.

7. Some people can’t see well enough, in many cases they have some degree of night blindness and don’t like to admit it. It will never work out for these people.

8. Some people don’t have a good enough memory, sometimes they are born with this problem but often it is as a result of what substances are used for entertainment purposes.

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