Don’t deliver pizza


This is my first post and first attempt at blogging except for the one I set up a year ago and only wrote in once.  My friends have convinced me that I have to start writing my stories down but I think it is just to spare them from having to hear them over and over.  This time I plan to actually write in my blog which makes it much more interesting.  I do have  many many years of pizza adventures and misadventures to share with the world.  Along the way I might share other life lessons I have learned perhaps preventing someone else from embarrassment, bodily harm or unnecessary car repairs.  One of the first lessons I learned was a very simple one but saved myself much harm and maybe you as well.  You see, when I began my pizza career the first shop I worked for put the fear in us drivers that if we were spotted not “hustling” from the car to the customer’s door we would be fired.  Whether anybody ever really got fired for not hustling I never did find out but I wasn’t taking any chances.  One icy evening when I was working one of my first shifts I arrived at a person’s house with a pizza and I do recall that the order wasn’t even late but I better hustle anyway so I began to bolt full speed for their door.  As soon as I began to run I realized what a bad idea this was.  If you have spent any time in a climate where its cold enough to have ice and snow you can probably relate.  The walkway leading up to the house had been icy but  I made it to the step.  As my first foot hit the step at high speed I realized that it was as smooth and icy as a skating rink but it was too late.  Both my feet shot straight out from underneath me and I think at one point were at the level where my head should have been.  I saw one of the burglars on the movie Home Alone have a similar fall.  After reaching a great height in the air I fell flat, hitting my head, my back and my elbow on the door.  I lay there trying to figure out if I was really hurt or just a little hurt.  While I thought about this the door opened and the corner of it hit me on the side of the head.  Now I was really hurt, as I winced in pain I looked up at an old lady and a four year old girl looking at me apparently quite puzzled.  I guess when my elbow hit the door during my fall they thought that was me knocking.  The little girl said “Grandma, why is the pizza man lying on the ground?”  Before Grandma could answer I blurted out  “Don’t come out here, its too dangerous”.  I assumed they knew I meant because of the ice.  At this point I realized that I had somehow managed to keep the pizza and the bottle of Pepsi upright so I set them beside my while I very painfully forced myself to a standing position.  I gave them the food and got the money and the whole time they looked at me very strangely, this pizza guy barely able to stand and bleeding from the head.  As I limped back to my car I had two thoughts, “hustling” to the door may be more fun as a summertime activity.  I also wondered if  the managers from the pizza shop follow every driver on each delivery to see how fast they walked or ran to the door.  Did they call the customer back after I delivered the pizza to ask how fast I got from the car to their door.  Neither of things seemed very likely.  I have just realized how long this post has been, I’m sure that anyone that was reading has fallen asleep by now, I’ll finish this up tommorrow.

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One response to “Don’t deliver pizza

  1. Oh that’s funny. Laughed out loud. Keep on blogging, pizza man.

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